well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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