would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
