dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
