Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
