I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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