Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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