Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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