dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
