i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Threesome in a minivan. New low
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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