his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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