Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
