just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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