I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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