I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
