Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
