I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
