hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
