She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
so let's talk penis.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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