did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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