I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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