Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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