I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize