You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
