Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
