i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
my poor anus
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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