So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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