It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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