Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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