5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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