the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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