Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
