I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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