dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm sobbing to NWA
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
