I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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