I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize