No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
