omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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