I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
