Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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