i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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