I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
