i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
