Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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