Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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