Taylor Swift is so right about you.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize