So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
