Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
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