You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
