mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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