are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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