Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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