You just made me feel so damn special
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
