Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
