But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
