Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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