In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
