its not stalking. its research.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
