you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
