I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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